Choice & Accountability

An article from the May 2014 issue of Stand & Shine Magazine.
Written by Marci Preece.

When I left elementary school to start 7th grade at the junior high, my whole life changed. Suddenly I was worried about my clothes, how my hair looked, and what other thought of me. My mom even purchases MAKE UP for me! See? Big deal. I went from being a soccer-playing, field-roaming tomboy to being a self-conscious 12 year old girl. Weird.

Junior High was a different world. There were cool kids and nerdy kids and sport teams and academic clubs. And most importantly, there were REALLY CUTE boys.

For some reason I didn't really notice boys until I start Junior High. Maybe you're the same? Maybe not? But when 7th grade came it's like someone gave me new glasses and I could finally see that WOW! some of those boys were cute business!!

Now my parents must have known this boy-noticing-experience would happen because they kept on remming me of "The Rules": no attending dances. No boy/girl parties unless my mom went (UGH). And especially no "going out" with a boy. (Back in that day "going out" meant that we would be called boyfriend and girlfriend but not actually go on dates or anything like that. It was more an I-like-you-and-so-let's-hang-out-at-school-thing.) But even with all of these rules, I kept telling my parents that they had nothing to worry about since I was terrified of actually talking to the cute boys anyways.

One day though, the unfathomable happened. A cute boy told his friends to tell my friends to tell me, that he wanted to "go out" with me. And yes, it all happened through the friend chain. Can you believe it!?! I was so excited, especially with all of my bubbly friends telling me the news! In the back of my mind I could hear my parents telling me "The Rules" but I quickly pushed them away, because how bad could it be? It's not like I was going out on a date or sneaking off with him to parties and such. So I said yes.

My friends rushed off to give my answer to his troop of friends and that was that. I figured this boy would wave to me in the hall or sit by me at lunch and it would be a good old time.

 Wrong-oh. Guess who called me that night? At my house? (This is way before the cell phone era.) The boy!! Luckily I answered the phone and luckily it was cordless so I could run up to my bedroom and hide in my closet. I just knew my parents would FLIP! if they knew what was going on. So in the security of my closet, I said hello and made small chit chat. The whole time my heart was pounding and my ears stringing to listen for any looming parents. I don't even know what Cute Boy told me or asked me since I was so concerned about getting caught. I quickly wrapped up the conversation, said bye, and took a breathe of relief when I finally ended the call. Phew.

Now something interesting happened here. I realized that I was feeling very guilty inside. But why? I wasn't kissing him. I wasn't going out on dates. I hadn't technically done anything "bad". BUT I was doing something my parents had specifically asked me not to do. And i knew it was also something that church leaders had counseled against as well. I knew that the feeling of guild would only grow and that I would never feel comfortable "going out" with this really cute boy. I had made a bad choice and I needed to fix it.

I broke up with Cute Boy the next morning at school. Well, actually, I told my friends to tell his friends to tell him that I broke up with him. I'm sure he had no idea what was going on and looking back I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but I knew that it was the right thing to do.

So what's your point, you say? To ignore boys? To pretend they're not cute? No way! Of course we can be around cute boys and of course we build friendships with them. My point is that we need to make good choices. By making good choices we show God that we love Him and are willing to follow Him. In Joshua 24:15 it says, "Choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Make the decision today to serve God and then make your choices match that decision. If I love God and He's asked me to not date before I'm sixteen, then I won't date before I'm sixteen. If He asks me to wear modest clothing or pay my tithing or whatever principle of the gospel it is, I will do that because I love God. God has a purpose in the things He asks us to do. He has great blessing in store for us! And we need to follow the path of god choices to get there.

Now I'm not saying it will always be easy. It won't be! That's part of life! But I will promise you that if you choose to follow the gospel of Jesus Christ and use the tools God has given you to make good decisions, you will be blessed. You will have confidence and greater understanding of God's plan for you, as well as a greater measure of His spirit. May the good choice be with you!

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